My Valentine Ghoul
by Steffie1
Summary: Dr. Von Goosewing decided to invent a device that would destroy Count Duckula: make him fall so madly in love that he'd be helpless...


Characters (c) Cosgrove Hall Story, Klara Van Gouwerk (c) to me, Steffie

Enjoy :)

My Valentine Ghoul

Austria; home of the vampire-duck hunter Dr. Von Goosewing. Beware, Count Duckula, for the elderly gander invented a weapon that shall mean your demise!

Meanwhile, inside Dr. Von Goosewing's cottage

"Eureka! I heff finally finished it!" Dr. Von Goosewing cheered in triumph as he held a musket in the air, like a precious trophy. Behind him sat an elderly goose by the coffee table. She wore a black Kitty Foyle dress(which had a green brooch on the front), black stockings and boots. Her grey hair was tied into a neat bun. On the edge of her small beak sat her pince-nez. Her green eyes shone with curiosity as she watched her best friend cuddle the musket like a newborn baby.  
"Erich, vot did you finally finish?" Klara, the female goose, asked.  
"Oh Klara, I heff finally finished mein new Dr. Von Goosewing Lieb Gun Mark Zwei"  
"A lieb gun?" Klara asked, curious.  
"Ja, a lieb gun. Vhen zat foul fiend gets strike by ze ray, helpless he shall be. Zen I can destroy him vhen he iz in zat state"  
"Iz it because of vot he had done to you all zhose years ago"  
"Ja. Zat foul fiend made me fall in lieb mit his female disguise. Zhen he caused me lots of pain by pretending he heff killed Heinrich..."

Klara fidgeted nervously around in her seat as her best friend shrugged and stated that he's glad Heinrich wasn't killed by Count DUckula after all. She gave a quick glance at the seat next to her. Heinrich's cup of tea and scone were untouched. Tears started to form in her eyes.

Heinrich was killed by that Count Duckula years ago. Poor Goosewing became insane after all those years of guilt, which made him believe his assistant never died. Klara always found it uncomfortable whenever her best friend acted as if Heinrich's in the same room as them.

"Klara, I am wery sorry for mein rudeness... but, Heinrich und I must go to Transylvania to destroy ze Count." Goosewing state as he turned his heel to leave.  
"Erich, vait!" Klara shouted, which stopped the elderly goose in his tracks.  
"Ja, vot iz it? Hey, vhere iz Heinrich all ze sudden"  
"Zat iz vot I need to talk to you about. Heinrich told me zat he had to go and visit his family in Hungary for a few days." the elderly female goose felt guilty that she was telling her friend stories. "Oh? But, ve need to destroy ze foul fiend"  
"Zat iz vhy I vont to be your assistant for today!"

"But Klara, it iz too dangerous!" the vampire hunter stated as he gripped on his best friend's shoulders, not noticing her blush.  
"Nein, Erich, I am coming mit you!" "..." Dr. Von Goosewing sighed in defeat. He knew he headstrong she can be; besides, it's very dangerous for him to confront Igor on his own.

"Fine. You may come mit me. But, please be very careful, ja?" the vampire hunter warned as he turned his heel to leave to Transylvania, his new assistant in tow.

Much later, Castle Duckula

It was a peaceful day in Transylvania. Count Duckula quietly read a detective novel, imagining himself as the detective. Nanny made a ruckus wherever she tried to dust. Igor was performing a ritual that he hoped would transform his young master into a true vampire.

"Let's see now...", Igor thought out loud as he checked the ingredients he had with him,"Bat blood, M'Lord's two tail feathers, my two tail feathers and Nanny's two tail feathers. The only thing missing would be the tail feathers of the master's beloved. Ugh. Dis-GUS-ting! Why do so many of these spells demand that the young master must be in love?"

The elderly vulture left the chamber in disgust. There always seemed to be a catch whenever he found a spell tha would change Count Duckula into a true vampire. Why must that catch always be love? Igor always believed that love was a waste of time, which had upset his late mother. She wanted at least a grandchild from him; despite the fact she had so many from his brothers and sisters. He was more interested in the dark and eerie.

Igor was lost in thought as he dawdled through the passage, not noticing that a rope of a hot-air balloon was tied to the castle. But, he did notice a goose that climbed through the window, the one he had just passed, with effort. It was a goose in a black dress.

"Finally made it. I knew I shouldn't heff vorn zis dress. It iz wery difficult to run and climb in it." the goose stated. Igor narrowed his eyes as he approached the figure. Why was Goosewing disguised as a lady? Must be one of his hare-brained schemes to destroy the young master.

When the butler finally stood right behind the goose, he was surprised that the fowl didn't shudder in fear when "he" turned around to face him.  
"Wow! I khant believe it! I am in ze presence of ze foul fiend Count Duckula himself"  
"What?" Igor was baffled. Did the doctor lose more of his marbles?  
"Ja, you must be ze count! You heff a dark und sinister aura! Und you look wery scary as vell!"

As the vulture stared at the shorter fowl, Count Duckula suddenly appeared in a puff of smoke in front of him. The mallard looked up to his butler with an annoyed look on his face. "Igor! There you are! I was looking for you everywhere!" Duckula scolded his butler.  
"My apologies M'Lord. I was occupied at the moment." the vulture stated, turning his attention to the goose. Duckula blinked in surprise when he too noticed the fowl.

"Goosewing, is that you? Why are you wearing a dress?" Duckula pointed at the goose.  
"Vho are you?" the goose asked, arms akimbo. Count Duckula and his butler shook their heads in defeat.  
"Oh dear. You're worse than Nanny, Goosewing--" Duckula stated as Nanny smashed through the wall behind him.

"You called, Duckyboos?" Nanny asked.  
"No Nanny, I wasn't"  
"Strange, I thought I heard you call my name"  
"No Nanny, I--nevermind."

To everyone's surprise, Dr. Von Goosewing fell through the ceiling and landed on the floor in front of Duckula and his servants. The gander looked confused when he noticed his lady friend somehow got into the castle before him. His confused expression was replaced with anger the moment he noticed his prey.  
"Count Duckula, you foul fiend! I heff finally got you!" the vampire hunter sneered, his musket aimed to shoot at the mallard's chest.  
"Goosewing?", Duckula scratched his head in confusion, "If that's you over there, who is this?"

"I am Klara Von Goudwerk." Klara honked in annoyance.  
"I can't believe you took your girlfriend with you while you hunt for vampires! Shame on you!" Duckula scolded his nemesis.  
"Vot iz you talking about? Klara here iz mein assistant vhile Heinrich iz on vacation."

"Vait a second, iz zat puny duck Count Duckula?" Klara asked in shock, pointing at the angry mallard.  
"Ja, zat pathetic-looking duck is ze foul fiend himself"  
"Hey!" Duckula protested. He can't believe he was insulted like this by the one fowl that believed he's a menace to society.  
"Zat iz not right. His butler looks even scarier zhan him." the goose shook her head in disbelief.

Duckula felt his blood boil. How dare they insult him like that? Before he could say anything, Goosewing suddenly fired a shot at him. The mallad was frozen with fear. He couldn't move an inch. He felt Igor giving him a hard shove as the vulture took the blast for his master. He fell hard on the floor, motionless. "Igor?!" Duckula gasped in horror as he kneeled down to his butler.  
"Mr. Igor?" Nanny was just as worried as she tried to shake her friend awake.

Duckula turned around the moment Dr. Von Goosewing accidentally shot himself somehow. The gander was also lying motionless on his back as his lady friend tried to wake him up.  
"Erich, wake up!" Klara cried as she shook Goosewing's shoulders.  
"Ugh...vot ze hell happened?" Goosewing asked groggily as he stood up, using the musket as a crutch. He clutched his head in pain as he felt it pound loudly.

"Erich, are you okay?" Klara asked in a worried tone. Suddenly, Goosewing looked as if he was struck by Cupid's arrow. There were hearts in his eyes. Giant hearts flew around his head as well.  
"You must be an angel! No one could be so beautiful!" Goosewing sang lovingly. Klara blushed madly.  
"Oh Erich, I don't know what to say"  
"I heff never met a hen as beautiful as you"  
"Huh?", Klara almost fell over in shock,"But Erich, I am a goose"  
"I know you are a goose, but mein liebling is a hen!" Goosewing sang as he skipped towards Nanny, ignorant of the fact that Igor was wooing his new love as well.

"Oh Emma, you are more beautiful than the day we first met!" Igor sang as he held Nanny's hand gently in his. Nanny blushed madly as the vulture flirted with her. Duckula was very confused and worried.  
"Igor, are you okay?" "Never felt better, M'Lord"  
"But, I thought you and Nanny were just very good friends"  
"So did I, but I finally realized what she meant to me."

Igor kneeled on one knee, to the shock of the young mallard. "Oh Emma, would you be my wife"  
"Oh Iggypoos, I thought you'd never ask me"  
"Hold it right there, Igor! Nanny is mein liebling!" Goosewing honked wildly as he stood face to face with the taller vulture.  
"No! She accepted my hand in marriage! She is my love, not yours"  
"Now, now, boys. Stay calm; or I'll smack both your legs!"

As the fighting continued, Klara approached Duckula. Both fowls gave each other a quick glance, then back at the bickering trio. They both shrugged and decided to wait and see what happens.  
"She loves me more"  
"Nein, she loves me more zan you"  
"No, me"  
"Nein, me"  
"Okay, that settles it. Nanny, please state who do you love more"  
"Oh dear, I love you both quite a lot..."

The trio bickered some more when Igor suddenly scooped Nanny in his arms and ran off.  
"Come Emma, let's get married and go off on our honeymoon!" Igor smiled as he struggled to run with the large hen, Goosewing right on their trail.

"I can't believe I get to see the day when Igor would actually want to marry Nanny. I must admit, Goosewing's invention might be working a bit too well." Duckula stated as Igor ran past him with Nanny in his arms.  
"Vell, Erich's Dr. Von Goosewing Lieb Gun Mark Zwei iz supposed to make anyone be helplessly in love mit anyone. But, as you can see, zey aren't helpless." Klara pointed out as the trio ran around in circles.

Suddenly, Igor stopped in his tracks. He wondered out loud why he was carrying Nanny in his arms. He lost his balance when his body realized how heavy Nanny was. Goosewing stopped in his tracks as well.  
"What just happened?" Igor demanded as he got back to his feet.  
"Ha, mein Dr. Von Goosewing Lieb Gun Mark Zwei iz vorking! Now Count Duckula, prepare to meet your doom!" the doctor smirked as he aimed his gun at the vegeterian vampire. He fired the musket, only to realize he held it the wrong way the moment the ray struck his best friend. He then held it the right way and fired again, only to hit Nanny by accident.

"Oh no..." Igor muttered as he noticed both women stared at him with love-struck eyes. The vulture never ran so fast before in his life when they charged towards him.  
"Wow Igor, I never knew you were a ladies' man. Heheh." Duckula chuckled as they women squealed that they want to be his bride.  
"Zat iz strange. I zought Igor vosn't Klara's type..."

After what felt like hours for Igor, the women finally stopped chasing him. The butler, needless to say, was very relieved. The vampire hunter tried to shoot Duckula again, but shot himself instead.  
"Duckula, mein liebling!" Dr. Von Goosewing blushed madly as he held his arms out wide as he ran towards the horrified duck.  
"Argh! Nanny! Igor! Help!!" Duckula screamed in horror as he ran for his life, love-struck gander in tow.

Klara sighed in defeat as she watched her best friend chase the vegeterian vampire.  
"Maybe zat lieb gun vos not such a good idea after all, ja?" Klara shrugged as she turned to face the audience.  
"Ugh, I have enough of this!" Igor growled as he picked the musket up. With his entire strength, he slammed it hard against his knee, breaking it into two. With the spell finally broken, Goosewing stopped chasing Count Duckula. The mallard sighed in relief.

"Wunderbar und Glokenschpeil. Vot ze hell happened?" Goosewing muttered as Klara waddled up to him. Both geese looked quite nervous when they noticed the residents of Castle Duckula stared at them angrilly.  
"Oh, swinehund." Goosewing whispered nervously to his best friend as he realized he forgot his vampire weapons at home.

"Vhen ze goink gets tough, ze tough gets goink!" the elderly gander stated with bravo to his female friend.  
"Ze tough get goink?" Klara sounded very confused.  
"Ja, ze tough get goink!", Goosewing honked loudly as he grabbed Klara by the arm and ran through the passage,"Help! Help! Vomen un me first!"

The elderly doctor leaped out of the window and landed in his hot-air balloon. He swiftly unfastened the rope that was tied around the castle. Count Duckula, Igor and Nanny watched as the hot-air balloon flew higher and higher until it was just a tiny speck in the sky.

"Thank goodness that's over!" Duckula sighed in relief. When he turned around to face his servants, his beak hung open in shock. Nanny had a love-struck look on her face as she flirtingly batted her eyelashes as Igor. It was obvious that she thought Igor meant it when he asked her hand in marriage.  
"M'Lord, help!" Igor gasped as Nanny approached him with her good arm outstretched.

As the villagers shudder in fear as they heard the butler's screams of agony echo from the castle, we bid farewell to friends and foes alike.

Goodnight out there┘ Whatever you are!

The End 


End file.
